Falling

Do you ever find yourself falling in love with the same person, over and over again. Like the kind of love that makes your heart skip a beat every time they smile. The kind of love that makes you want to crawl up under them and forget that anyone or anything exists except for the two of you. The kind of love that makes you feel like you couldn't possibly love this person anymore than you do right now, and then SURPRISE! Turns out, you can.
Well, I'm there. After my husband and I split up, I seriously questioned  whether or not I could ever love him the way I once did. That made me sad, because at one point, I just knew that God made him just for me. I still loved him, and always would, but I wasn't in love with him anymore. And with the new relationship that I was in, the love wasn't the same. I felt like I would never be in love with anyone the way I was in love with my husband.
My husband and I have had some serious issues in our marriage. By the time we separated, I felt so hopeless. I just knew that our relationship would never be the same. But when we had a chance to really talk, all I could say to him was, "Maybe I let go too soon." His next words shocked me. He said, "No matter what we went through, I never wanted to lose you. I still want you to be my wife." I was amazed. I mean, we had been through some stuff. I had had a whole new relationship. Most men in that situation would have never been able to get over that. But his love for me was bigger than his ego.
Since then, this man has literally given me every single thing I claimed I was lacking in our marriage. I felt like he didn't give the family enough time. He is giving us all his time. I complained that he didn't put much effort into helping me run the house. He is putting a ton of effort into the house now. I wanted more romance. He has become the "Don Juan" of romance. He actually listened to everything I said, and is consciously working at giving me everything I want.
So I find myself falling in love all over again. I catch myself looking at him when he doesn't know, and I get butterflies in my stomach. I hear him slightly snoring when he sleeps, and it's adorable. The way he eats is sexy. Just thinking about him makes my heart swell. And every time I think, "I can not possibly love this man anymore than I do now", every day, I love him just a little bit more. I'm not reminded of why I fell in love with him in the first place. The love I have now is different. It's like a homecoming. I have a greater appreciation for what I lost.
I truly believe that this time, we will be okay. Sometimes you have to lose everything to recognize exactly what you have. I think both of us had to lose each other to be where we are today. I don't know what will happen in the next year or the next eight years, but what I do know, is that in the future, if it goes bad, I will remember exactly how I feel right now, and work my butt off to feel this way again. I know that I'm better with this man than I will ever be without him.